A number of lessons learned...

I recently have been reflecting a lot on the most recent General Conference and love a quote from President Packer's talk in the Saturday morning session:

One of the great discoveries of parenthood is that we learn far more about what really matters from our children than we ever did from our parents.

Last night my daughter who is learning to drive decided that the van needed to be re-parked in the garage as it was in a bit crooked. She has been practicing her driving and has the natural teenage confidence common to the age. Mom is in Hawaii and Dad is at a meeting so what else to do but rectify the problem herself? In attempting to back out of the garage she came into contact with the side of the garage causing some damage to the van and the garage itself.

Upon returning home I viewed the damage and spoke to her about the situation. In her remorse she said she was willing to pay for any required repairs not realizing that said repairs would likely cost more than she has saved over the past couple years. Upon realizing she was not going to be castigated for her mistake she went to bed relieved as did I. In the morning as I was thinking about taking her to Driver's Ed the thought occurred to me that she needed to drive, and not only that she needed to be the one to back the van out of the garage. There is a life lesson here and one I think all of us can benefit from.

As she came down the stairs I handed her the keys and informed her that she would be driving us to her class and not only that, she would be backing out of the garage. Her response was one of genuine amazement. I think it was something like, "Are you serious??", repeated several times. After looking at the result of her previous attempt it was seen that the van was in worse position than before her initial attempt. We talked through how she was to accomplish this went went through a process of discovery and identified the root of why her first attempt had ended the way it had. Under the direction of an experienced driver she was able to back out successfully and get to her class.

As we drove to her high school we talked about the lessons that could be gained through her experience:

1. I needed her to realize that she is way more important to me than any possession.
2. Mistakes are made when we go our own way lacking experience and guidance.
3. Mistakes can be corrected when turn to those who are in a position to help.

I learned some very important lessons that dovetail with the above as we liken the situation to our relationship with Heavenly Father and His Son Jesus Christ. We are of infinite worth to the Father. We will inevitably make mistakes when we go our own way and mistakenly think we can handle everything on our own. The Savior stands ready to forgive us and lead us by the hand the way we should go. Through the direction provided by parents, leaders and the Holy Ghost we can do very difficult things with few mistakes.

As I thought about all of these things another poem quoted by President Packer in General conference came to mind:

The old crow is getting slow.

The young crow is not.

Of what the young crow does not know

The old crow knows a lot.

At knowing things the old crow

Is still the young crow’s master.

What does the slow old crow not know?

—How to go faster.

The young crow flies above, below,

And rings around the slow old crow.

What does the fast young crow not know?

—Where to go.

I am so grateful that I did not blow up...but that would not, in and of itself, have been enough. Did my daughter expect to drive to school...no. Would it have been normal in her mind to be punished or at the least not be allowed to back out of the garage for a long period of time...of course. But how much better is it when lessons can be taught. Her progress as a competent driver has taken a huge jump forward. I imagine her willingness to ask for help when she is unsure of her ability to perform a new task will also be dramatically increased.

As for the van, it is a small thing and really beyond her ability to pay. Likewise when we make mistakes the price of those is more than we can afford. Fortunately through the Atonement of our Savior the payment has been made. All that is required from us is repentance. I am glad that I did not screw this up and that Heavenly Father allowed me to learn these important lessons in a very clear way through the instrumentality of one of my children.

Day 2 of blogging

Day 2. The meaning behind your blog name

Well, my father had a license plate that was 4xy 4xx because he and my mom have 4 boys and 4 girls...I am not incredibly creative so I simply took the number and gender of our children and combined it with the too often occurring rhetorical question that Kenra and I have when looking at our posterity...What have we done?

In my opinion one of the primary purposes of this life is to develop attributes possessed by our Heavenly Father, since I have an incredible amount of room to gain/develop said attributes I think (most of the time) that Kenra and I have done something wonderful and good...but the jury is still out on it.

30 days of blogging day one

Alright, I was perusing my family's blogs and came across the idea of 30 days of blogging from my little sister's blog. Since I have a grand total of 4 posts in three years...this should take me to retirement but what the heck. I am not committing to 30 consecutive days, but there are some interesting topics that might generate some readable posts...for the 1-2 people that will see them.

Day 1. A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

Note: I do not have any recent pictures of myself...I look fat without the added 30-40 pounds the camera adds (since I am rather large)...so this picture is one in which I do not look like I eat at buffets 78% of my meals.

Ok, I no longer have a goatee...and this is way to unrealistic for any sort of honest post...but it is my albeit several years ago.

Facts:

1. I have the best marriage (I am aware of, and in my opinion), to the greatest woman in the world. She has been and continues to be my very best friend for over 18 years now.
2. I turn 40 this year...and it does not bother me at all. I feel, and act, like a person much younger (immature)...I have no idea when I am going to "grow up".
3. I am easily addicted to wasting time...Farmville...World of Warcraft...Rift...mindless fiction ...Dragon Court... I personally view this as my major character defect, and think my wife would agree, though she puts up with me remarkably well.
4. I have 8 great kids. Each has their own challenges and strengths. I am loving seeing them discover their "thing". I am still waiting for a kid as poorly behaved as I was...but keep hoping that Kenra's goodness is being measured in the equation and swallowing up my deficiencies.
5. I really like heavy metal, speed metal, screamo, classical, instrumental, and nearly any other type of music. I did not list rap...as the current crop of loser artists can't compare to old school masters like Ice-T, Public Enemy, and Boogie Down Productions. I am seeing Def Leopard in Aug with a like minded friend and moshed to Zebrahead at age 36..until I ran into a student...
6. Unfortunately I am not in the least bit a picky eater...though I really hate chicken salad when they put grapes and nuts in it...seriously...grapes?!?!
7. My dream job is to be a fireman...unfortunately I am the wrong race and gender to get onto most departments.
8. I love my job, I get to mess with teenagers all day every day. It is never boring...often very rewarding...and incredibly interesting. Most days I feel like I am stealing money...its not for everyone but it is for me. Since I did not get to be a fireman...second best job is a nice consolation prize.
9. One of my favorite things in the world is getting daddy piled by my kids.
10. I have sung each of my eight children to sleep on numerous occasions...though I have a vocal range of 5 unconnected notes...they seem to like it...or just pretend in order to end the pain more quickly.
11. I have seen "The Fugitive and US Marshals" an embarrassing number of times...almost as many times as I have seen "The Princess Bride" (<---- favorite movie of all time)...
12. I cry watching movies...and commercials...and TV... but no one knows this since I pass it off as allergies or dry corneas
13. I am a very content person.
14. I really do not like traveling...and especially hate being away from my wife and kids...after a couple of days I am a mess...I could never have a job where I am required to be away a lot.
15. I have been able to overcome a lot of personal weaknesses to become a person that I am most of the time proud of.

...sigh...SIGH...

When will it end?

The past few weeks have been rather difficult and I am not sure what to expect next.

• A little over a week ago we had $550 dollars stolen from our Minivan in our garage.

• I took my car in for safety and emissions and found an exhaust leak...and in the process of getting the oil changed the tech left the cap off...and the back tire was low...and bald... $300 later I have a car that is great...until next month when the timing belt gets replaced along with the water pump
  

• I signed up (after researching) for some supplements on a "free" trial basis, without reading all of the fine print. Upon calling to cancel the trial I find out that the trial period started and ended earlier than I had thought...$170...yes way too expensive later...well it would have been $170 if I had not used my personal allowance checking account to sign up, that did not have the $170 in it so add to that price another $125 in bank fees as I bought $26 diet cokes ($1 for the drink $25 for the bank fee) since I had no idea the "supplement companies had charged me for the "free" samples.

• Our sump pump pipe (potty pipe) has a cracked collar and is leaking in our furnace room. The plumber will be by to replace it later this week.
  

• This morning while driving to work in very slick conditions there was a pile up and people sliding all over, in order to avoid the truck in front of me I slid into the concrete barrier...the car is drive-able but there is probably some damage to the driver's side front wheel.

Add to the the normal litany of troubles associated with having 8 kids and our hands are pretty full, I guess the silver lining in all of this would be that we are not in serious financial distress. We are able to absorb all of these little dings and scrapes and go on...but the day after day it is adding up...I guess the Lord is really trying to humble my overly easy going attitude.

We did get some OUTSTANDING news yesterday when it was announced that there will be a new temple 5 minutes away from our house in Payson.

I have many things to be grateful for...a wife that loves me...kids that sometimes do as well...a warm house to live in and enough food to eat. Life in spite of its problems continues to be good.

Getting blown away...

Well one day of Alpine days down and one to go. Yesterday Jaydn ran 4:51 in the mile and was disappointed that he did not break the Alpine Days record...ah the burden of self expectation. He ran a fantastic race. I was wondering about his perspective...how good was the time? Well according to this site that keeps track of close to two thousand Junior high programs in the nation, his time is the second fastest by an 8th grader in the country this year...and if, like Pres Obama, you do not consider West Virginia a state then he was the fastest!

I am further impressed by his accomplishment given that he has had a total of 9 weeks of track specific training this year, and never more than 2 months in any year. He starts High school cross country the first week of June and the runners are hoping he will be able to make the 8th spot on their varsity team...I have a feeling some of them are in for a bit of a surprise.

As I reflect on the rest of my kids my wonderment grows...McKenna is doing fantastic in her choir and has made the chamber group, Nathan is rapidly progressing in piano...and if he actually practiced more than once a week (sigh), McKay is showing multi-sport promise in baseball and basketball that is incredible...and the twins are already looking at contract offers from the MMA and the WWF demonstrating a ruthlessness and ability for dramatization rarely seen in four year olds...and Jessa and Emma are looking at long term Soap Opera deals for obvious reasons

I am grateful for so many arrows in my quiver everyone of them different and talented in their own ways.

A few reflections...

This past week has been rough. I was in SLCs (Student Lead Conferences) until past 8 two nights in a row and then had a track meet the following night. I do not have a problem with what is required of my time, but I went two nights without seeing my twins.

At our house one of the few responsibilities I take is bedtime for the twins. One of the rituals we have is switching which one I lay by as they go to sleep. The bedtime duties fell to Kenra for a few nights and since I leave before they awaken and was getting home after they were in bed they were wondering what had happened to thier dad...and I was really missing them.

I realize a bit more what my own father must have been experiencing on a regular basis as I was growing up. He was and remains so amazing and as is the case with many amazing people he was often gone before we got up and home after we were in bed...I remeber a conversation I had with him not long after I got married where he asked me if I thought he had done a good job as a father, if he had been around enough. My answer then is the same as now. He was AWESOME!

It is only now as I gain some fatherly perspective that I realize the depth of his question and the level of his concern. I am very fortunate to have a profession that allows me so much time with my family. I honestly do not think I am tough enough or well organized enough to have a job that would frequently require me to be away because I do not do a great job maximizing the time I have, if I had less...

Anyway pretty random pointless post but for whatever reason I feel better for expunging from my mind what has been there the past couple of days.

That which we....

This week I have felt a little like Nemo "...first day of school!....first day of school!...first day of school...wake up...its time to go to school" Many teachers join with most kindergartners, and all mothers in celebrating the start for another school year. At the conclusion of this first week of school one of my favorite quotes has been at the forefront of my thoughts:

That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but our ability to perform it has improved.

That Emerson had something there...it is applicable for the students in my math classes...it applies to my kids...my parents...my friends...people in different countries...and myself. It is a universal truth. He does not say the good things we spend time practicing become easier...he simply says those things, good or bad, worthwhile or not so much, the things we spend our time doing will become easier for us.

I use that quote in class to try and stimulate my students that struggle to believe that with sufficient effort they can and will improve and in my eyes improvement, for many of these kids, equates to success. This year as I gave my little motivational diatribe I was struck by the quote and how it applies to me...and it was not pretty actually...I have been persisting in the wrong areas...in some cases have been allowing the good to crowd out the essential...in other cases very simply going against the counsel found in Isaiah 55:1-3 and 2 Nephi 9:51 spending time and labor for that which doth not satisfy. Well I have decided that I am going to change the direction of my persistence and be found doing better things more of the time and invite all to do the same.